Saturday, July 29, 2017

The "Emoji Movie" is a cinematic abomination and I kind of want to see it!

You know I still feel there's the germ of a good idea for a story to be made out of the idea behind emojis. Somewhere between "Wreck-it Ralph" and "Inside Out", but to no ones surprise the story we got was apparently the worst thing to happen to movies this year. I had no intention on ever seeing this movie. I have no snarky remarks about it either, it's just not something that landed on my radar. I'm far too invested in "Thor: Ragnarok" and "Justice League" to give a damn about a movie like this, but people seem to be questioning their lives over this movie. It really is quite incredible.

 Earlier today "The Emoji Movie" had a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, and now I believe it has a 3%. These are ratings so low they are mythical in nature. The movie was just released and it is being panned across the board by all walks of life. It's kind of exciting. And that's part of the reason why I want to go see this film now; I want to join the party and witness for myself something truly, truly awful.

I wonder though if the negative hype will come back to bite me. Like, will I be disappointed if this movie isn't the worst thing I've seen this year?

I wonder if this film will reemerge as a strange cult film in the next twenty years. I hope not but I won't be surprised if it at least becomes some sort of drinking game.

Tamara Just Saw - The Emoji Movie


So I just found the schedule for SyFy's Sharknado Week event. I'm looking forward to "Sharknado 5: Global Swarming" since it looks like they will be doing some "universe building" with it. And the sharks also look much bigger, like Mega Shark (another Asylum Entertainment shark monster). 

Could this finally confirm my insane theory that all the Asylum Entertainment shark movies are related?! 

"5-Headed Shark Attack" seems to be another sequel to "2-Headed Shark Attack". I don't recall there being a "4-Headed Shark Attack" movie but maybe the fifth head was added to honor the fifth Sharnado movie.

I'm also interested in "Toxic Shark" since I hope that shark looks super mutated like the Toxic Avenger. Lloyd Kaufman, CEO of Troma Entertainment, has already appeared in one of the previous Sharknado movies so it could be a nice reference to his toxic legacy.

Below are some of the images used in the advertising of "Sharknado 5" on Facebook. I'm interested about the tribal drawings of a Sharknado, as though the apocalypse of every previous human society was obliterated by Sharknados and these people were trying to warn us all in the future. Not to mention the newspaper clipping of hieroglyphics of Sharknados in ancient Egypt!  

SDCC Teaser

I hope they continue the Universal Dark Universe movies

I know that the current state of Universal Studio's Dark Universe is in a state of peril. "The Mummy", which was meant to kick off the whole series did pretty well in the global box office, but it was met with mixed to negative reactions from most monster fans. I enjoyed it well enough, if only for Sofia Boutella's portrayal of the cursed Ahmanet. That aside, even for me the rest of the casting is a bit flimsy. Tom Cruise, even if he dives 110% into his roles, seemed miscast in this movie. His character was too much of a "Tom Cruise archetype" if that makes any sort of sense. It was nothing new from him, so I could only see him and not his character. 

I can't imagine how difficult it is to start a franchise series like this. The planning involved must be intense, and the expectations must be high from the studio. The main reason I want Dark Universe to continue is because I love the old Universal Monster movies, and any re-imagining of them I welcome with open arms. All interpretations are fine, but they have to be enjoyable. I don't even think they have to be "good"! Just fun! Ahmanet is a fun character; she's scary, intense, creepy, and her intentions make sense in the film. Russell Crowe's "Dr. Jekyll" character is also lots of fun, especially when he transforms into Mr. Hyde. But Tom Cruise's character isn't fun. He's just the same character Cruise has been playing for 30 years. Maybe a different actor in the same role would have brought something new to it, but who knows at this point. 

What *is* interesting is how the film ends for Cruise's character. I doubt anything will come of it, but it would be amazing if Tom Cruise's character, who I think is named "Nick", actually becomes the big major threat for this entire Dark Universe event. Like Thanos in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or Darkseid in the DC Extended Universe. I would like that a lot actually, partially because I think the set up for that to happen is strong, but also it might be Cruse's most unique performance in decades. I guess we'll have to wait and see. 

Did you know there was a make of "The Giant Gila Monster"? I sure didn't!

So I thought I'd focus my first post here on something I watched just a few days ago. So I love the original film, "The Giant Gila Monster". It's a short and cheesy flick usually paired up with "The Killer Shrews" as a double-feature. Both are loads of fun, and have their place in b-movie history because of their silly premise and memorable monsters. "The Killer Shrews" recently received an official sequel, "The Return of the Killer Shrews", which stars some of the original cast, but "The Giant Gila Monster" received a remake of sorts. Now I don't know if this is an official remake of any kind since this new film doesn't have much of the same plot as the original (as far as I can remember, I haven't seen the original in about a decade), but it does take place during the same time period and does it's best to reflect that with a swingin' soundtrack and a whole host of fancy old timey cars. 

I found this film by surprise while looking through the catalog on Amazon Prime for something to watch. I was skeptical but I'm really happy I gave it a shot; this film has a great deal of sincerity to it. They're not trying to make a modern b-movie, they were trying to capture the spirit of how films like this were made back when the original Gila monster was made. The cast gives a good performance, the setting is quite beautiful, and the costumes and effects aren't half bad either. 

Gila himself is a computer generated creature rather than a live Gila monster like in the original. I dig his simple design, and I think they use him quite effectively in this film. In the original the monster is barely seen, but in this remake he appears every few minutes. I don't think he's scary in the least, but I don't think he's supposed to be. This movie is just fun, and I it's almost like a "family horror film". If you have kids this would be a nice movie to watch with them during Halloween. It has a wholesome sort of feel to it. 

There's ultimately nothing too spectacular about "Gila!"; it's just fine. A harmless film that pays respects to b-movies from the past and tries to recapture a specific nostalgic feeling of old monster flicks. Definitely worth a glance for old fans.