Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Your life is yours to live, to hell with everyone else

Everyone suffers in their own way. Rich or poor; man or beast; everyone suffers. That suffering though is what breathes life into the libido of existence. It's such a weird thing to think about how creation can only occur through a catalyst, or a series of events, or a moment, that might not have been what you wanted at all. Old dreams crumble to dust but new dreams blossom and thrive so long as you can nourish them in some way. 

I have a pal who dropped it all and went looking for his fortune somewhere else. He sold all his possessions and took an enormous risk. I cheered him on, but secretly I was concerned, and even more secretly I was jealous. It takes guts to abandon everything you love and hold dear in search of something new that could very well lead to even further suffering. I think he, my friend, was absolutely courageous and I hope someday I can also do like he did. I'm not sure I'm there yet. I'm anchored down by my current responsibilities and if I were to abandon them too many people I really care for would definitely suffer because of my want and greed.

Still, in my current state I suffer, but yet I am happy. Like Sisyphus, I just keep pushing that boulder uphill. I know this state won't last, eventually I will have no choice but to push that boulder even further, or push an even heavier boulder, but each day has it's own rewards. 

Suffering doesn't have to be a painful experience. It could also be a nourishing one. 

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