Thursday, July 5, 2018

IT'S X-DAY! BEWARE! RUN AND HIDE! PRAISE "BOB"!


Any second now the Saucers will arrive on earth and eradicate the human species, and the superior SubGenius super-mutant yetis will be saved and be taken to the stars on their very own Pleasure Saucers! 


JHVH-1 will smoosh all the normal people who made life an unbearable suck-fest! SMOOSH THEM WITH HIS STARK FIST OF REMOVAL! And the SubGenii will be swept away with the Slack Fist of Retrieval.


While everyone else is being blasted into mush, we who made it right with "Bob" will be spending time with the beautiful Alien Sex Goddesses (above). 


And, we are all very well this might end up being just another X-Day drill, but we're really hoping this'll be it. These last couple of years have been astoundingly annoying, and existence on this planet has really worn out it's welcome. In fact, the apocalypse would be a goddamn IMPROVEMENT. We all need a clean slate. I can't wait for JHVH-1 to punch the shit out of this planet! Maybe he'll reshape it like Play Dough into something more useful. 


Any second now... any second now...



Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Happy X-day Eve everyone!


As my Yeti brethren make their way to the sacred grounds where the Xists will arrive tomorrow, as the SubGenius liturgies say they will, I can't help but reflect on my own journey as an Overman. Oh sure, the SubGenius prophecy has never been correct, but who knows, maybe, just maybe, the WORLD ENDS TOMORROW AND YOU MIGHT DIE!

If you're still not ordained, there may still be time to submit to make it right with "Bob", and to send your $35 to the Church of the SubGenius. Click the image below for more details. 


JHVH1, that evil alien space god, will be obliterating all the non-believers and Anti-"Bob's" of the world tomorrow, while those of us who are card carrying members of the Church will be saved and taken upon the pleasure saucers to make horrifying sweet love to the Alien Sex Goddesses. What do you say? Do you want salvation, or extermination? The choice is yours and yours alone!

Please enjoy the following introductory video for further detail. 


ARISE: The SubGenius Video from Philo Drummond on Vimeo.

"ARISE!, The SubGenius Movie. ARISE! was directed by Cordt Holland and Rev. Ivan Stang, written by Stang, narrated by Dr. Hal Robins; it was first released in 1988. New artwork, some new live footage and numerous computer animation sequences were added in 2005. ARISE! tells the story of Slack master and Sex God J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, the Texas preacher who discovered the Conspiracy and an invasion by UFOs, and founded The Church of the SubGenius -- an adults-only religion for mutants, misfits, weirdos."

Monday, July 2, 2018

Saint Gene Ray, discoverer of Time Cube!



We were truly blessed to have the work of the "World's Wisest Man", Dr. Otis Eugene Ray. The title of "doctor" was awarded to himself by himself I believe. Anyway, as any Cubic student will tell you, Gene Ray was a truly fascinating character. He really went as far as he could to advocate for his Time Cube way of viewing the world. It was sort of a spiritual-science, in its own strange way; A very strange form of numerology based around the number 4 (even though cubes themselves have 6 sides, but whatever.)

Much like the world of Stanislav Szukalski, who is greatly exulted by all members of the Church of the SubGenius, Gene Ray presents something so ridiculous and confusing that it must be true to SubGenius doctrine! Like good ol' J. R. "Bob" Dobbs always says, "if it seems really stupid, it must be important"; so by that logic, Time Cube might be the most important Forbidden Science in the history of Forbidden Sciences! 


Time Cube seems to be based on the 4 stages of life, and, it measures the self against lineage and culture. So instead of seeing yourself as a separate part of your family, society, culture, hemisphere, etc., you would measure yourself to them as a component that brings together the "harmonic" Time Cube world. At least that's what I take away from this. 1 turns is the equivalent to 4 days because the day ages as the same as a human does. 1-self is not equal or greater than a "Family Cube" because to be whole. the self must be part of a family. This is an assumption based on the above notes, as well as some videos I watched about Gene Ray (who came from a very large family himself), but I feel like he was trying to say something along the lines of the importance of unity within a family, as opposed to a member of a family just being out for themselves. Somehow, through the harmony of Time Cube, a cubic family unit would be a strong and successful one as opposed to the "Antifamilyism" non-cubic educators teach.

This is of course just my interpretation. I'm sure the late Gene Ray would tell me I'm wrong, and that I'm stupid, for even trying to understand the nuances and truth behind the Time Cube. Below is a really great video all about Gene Ray and his life, and, you can really see how his personal life shaped Time Cube. 


It's a shame Gene Ray passed away before he could finish and publish his Time Cube textbook. His website still exists, but it's definitely run by "fans" and not followers of his science. Through the murkiness of his online rants I feel like there might be something tangible to his philosophy, but who knows if it can ever be truly deciphered.