Sunday, January 13, 2019

Cold chill within the walls of my Monastery


Whenever it gets cold outside I feel like I am walking in a different world. Sometimes I feel like I'm on some barren world, finally isolated from other people and needless distractions. Cold days help me put my mind back together I feel. 

The weather is still mild when you compare it to last year. I feel like snow is slowly creeping up on us here in NYC, but for now it's just cold air and semi-strong winds keeping us company. Hard to believe we're almost halfway done with the first month out of the year already. Work certainly makes the days shorter. Ideally though, this is still the best time to start something new. The isolation of cold air makes internal reflection really very easy, so I should be able to organize my thoughts, goals, and life before Spring hits us. That is, in theory that's the case anyway. Let's see how well I manage to bungle this reasonable goal. 

Since I have a bit of time to read the things that I want to read, I decided to finally read a book that's bit on my shelf for years. "Mysticism in World Religions", by Sidney Spencer, is a really wonderful and concise read. Spencer was absolutely meticulous with his research, and he presents theological concepts with great clarity. I don't think too many people know about this wonderful little book, it seems to be out of print, but it can be found on Amazon for sure. I really recommend it. 

Whenever I read about mystic culture while under the influence of one of my magic elixirs I can sometimes feel something really powerful and potent; like the disintegration of my outer-self, and the expulsion of my higher spirit. As  though I am being vibrated out of existence and reborn as an all knowing omniscient being. Despite what you may think of me, let it be known that I'm no atheist. My spiritual beliefs are non-traditional, abstract, and weird, but I do have them. I feel that it's important to come to terms with how you feel with such things as life, death, the nature of reality, and even God in the traditional sense, and the gods of antiquity. 

We have to have personal standards for what sort of wisdom we plan to absorb within our lifetimes. If we spend too much time only experiencing the events as told by us by previous generations, we lose sight of the future of our world. Although annoying, I'm happy that our modern culture is putting fandom above religiosity. It's stupid, but still, it's also unimportant. You can enjoy any sort of fandom to any degree and that's correct. There is no wrong way to enjoy media really; fandoms it allow stories to be just stories again, even if they're juvenile. Although I do worry still about the materialistic nature of humankind. I'm of course no exception, but I take a bit a pride in knowing that what I purchase or collect is all rather harmless. 

I wonder what will end up being the true cost of it all though, you know? Between my (and others) slacking and enjoyment of discord, and others trying trying to maintain some sort of control, it makes me wonder if one day the Hodge-Podge of reality is just going to crumble and eat itself from within, leaving us all stranded in some nightmare realm where there is no chance for escape. 

But that's just hopeful thinking I guess. I feel we're all still doomed to die in the Robot Uprising that'll be taking place in fifteen years. And if that doesn't occur there's always WW3 to think about. 

The hunt for a peaceful life is never-ending I guess. We can quest around the world for treasures, fame, fortune, and adventure, but we may never find peace in the process. We search the realm around us for answers, and hardly ever do we find anything we really need. Still, sometimes there's a ray of hope that appears before us, giving us the drive to continue on even though all we're really doing is marching towards our own graves. 

After many months of searching, I have obtained the Golden Poop Emoji from a bootleg Kinder Egg, so I guess that means I now wield endless cosmic destructive power. The universe will be under control once I figure out how to activate this devastating interdimensional doomsday device, just you wait. Once I do though, you're all in trouble!

The Brothers Grunt

It's amazing what sticks with you over the years. I nearly forgot all about this show. Thank goodness for YouTube and illegal uploads. 

"The Brothers Grunt" was a favorite cartoon of mine from back when I was a young boy. I remember having such trouble keeping up with it because the airing schedule wasn't very consistent. I don't think there was a second season for this particular show, and that's a shame. They had some weird and wonderful ideas in every episode.

The Grunts are a sub-humanoid species of pale skinned rubbery asexual beings who consume only cheese, martinis, potatoes, and olives (this explains why they always have a pained look on their face; they're very constipated.) The Grunt society is seemingly all male, but one dream sequence suggests that Grunts have no male genitalia at all, but they all still (as far as the show is concerned) identify as male. They have male names, wear Bermuda shorts, and wear saddle oxford shoes. Their culture seems to revolve around that of old crooners and 1950's and 1960's drinking party culture.

All Grunts are led by the glass-eyed Gruntus Poobah, who is quite elderly, but can speak pretty clearly. He serves as the series narrator. And, all Grunts are born from the warts of the massive floating Gruntus  Primus Maximus, who is housed within the Monastery. The way Gruntus Primus Maximus carries baby Grunts is similar to how some frogs carry their babies within their hide prior to the hatching. It's gross and beautiful all at once. Gruntus Primus Maximus is, as far as we know, the only Grunt capable of reproduction. 

Grunts, in some ways, are like the Minions of their time, but are far, far more likable in my opinion. They have their own unique manner of communication (they speak in idiotic sounding grunts), they're all male, and seem to be mostly immortal.  

The Grunts formed a fraternal Brotherhood (The Brotherhood of Grunt) which, after great study and meditation, all Grunts will join through ceremony. As part of the Brotherhood, Grunts live in a Monastery, wear black robes like monks (or druids), and live a life of peaceful cheese-mongering. 

Sadly, during the first episode, entitled "The Ceremony", one of the Grunt Brothers (Perry) is revealed to be The Chosen One! It was prophesized in the Pamphlet of Kevin (The Fifth of Kevin was the Grunt who founded the Brotherhood and built the Monastery) that a Chosen One will be found that will help ensure that the Brotherhood of the Grunt will continue one, but Perry didn't want that responsibility and ran away. 

SO! That's the plot. The five Grunt Brothers have to find Perry and return him to the Monastery so he can help ensure the prosperity of the Brotherhood of the Grunt. Perry himself seems to enjoy living with humans and having shitty jobs rather than being worshiped by his Grunt Brethren. 

There's a B-plot about a detective investigating the Grunts, and he does end up visiting the Monastery, but I don't know if that plot ever resolved itself. I can't seem to find all the episodes of this beatific and enlightening animated series. It's from the creator of "Ed, Edd, and Eddy" so you'd think that maybe MTV would showcase this online for free or something, but no. 


The Radioactive Chicken Heads are a band of Frankenfoods and mutants created by the mad Dr. Cluckenstein for reasons that can be described as both mysterious and stupid. Thankfully, most of his experiments rebelled and decided to form a band, just to be safe. 

Like seriously, not since CoqRoq have I heard such amazing music from any sort of living-mutant poultry. Carrot Topp is a born leader, and even though he's not technically a chicken, I'm sure his DNA is messed-up enough to cluck as hard as any fowl in existence. 

I ordered some stuff from their official store, just a CD and some buttons, but they ended up spoiling me with stickers and freaking autographs as well! Pretty great stuff all around. I put some stickers on my laptop, and the buttons are now on my messenger back so I can show off my allegiance. 

The beautiful Rockin' Robin seems to be a fan favorite. And really, is there anyone in this world who can resist her charms? I think not. Currently, Robin is Topp's main squeeze, and if you follow them on Twitter, you'll see them constantly liking each others posts, and retweeting photos from each other. I guess even mutant Frankenfoods can find true romance. 

There is however a mysterious being in pursuit of The Radioactive Chicken Heads. No one knows the true identity of the mysterious Agent RR, but she's been spotted sneaking around on behalf of the insane Dr. Cluckenstein. We can only speculate what her intentions really and  truly are. Whatever the case may be though, Agent RR has definitely stolen my heart. 💘

 Elect Chip the Black Boy for Dictator

In a dashing grasp for power, David Liebe Hart's "son", Chip the Black Boy, announced on Facebook that he would be seeking to become not just the President of the United States, but rather, the DICTATOR!

This is of course shocking news. No comments yet from David Liebe Hart himself. This story is still developing... 


 "Mandy" (2018) slipped right by me. I had meant on watching it but I actually forgot it existed. But thanks to the Cheddar Goblin, I'll never forget about "Mandy" ever again!

Random Toys from a Bag

So I posted most of these pictures on Twitter while I was cleaning out a dufflebag full of toys. I may end up selling or giving away some of these. It depends how I feel. 

 Godzilla, King of the Monsters Toys

And lastly, the pictures for the toys for the next Godzilla movie are here. I'm really and truly happy that they're going to release the giant-size Godzilla figure again. I missed out on it last time but this time I've promised myself that I would buy it without hesitation. 

Most of these look nice actually. I wouldn't mind getting the tiny versions of these characters for my shelves, but I definitely need that giant-sized Godzilla in my life. 

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