Monday, April 1, 2019

Empowerment through uselessness

I didn't think I'd put together another post so soon after my previous one. I suppose I was guided by a higher power to do so, but who knows. And the force behind that higher power is yet even more of a mystery to me. Is it my higher-self, or some puppet master pulling strings? It's probably that bastard JHVH-1 again. Whenever he's around I feel like talking about nonsense and sounding like a crazy person.
JHVH-1, the evil alien space-god who waits like some sort of predatory beast in the shadows to smash this world is always overshadowing us. The Elder Gods hunger for the flavor of the many species who dwell on our tiny speck of a planet. As they are mostly ethereal in their physicality, JHVH-1 and his kin are near impossible to detect, except maybe with supernatural extrasensory perceptions, or strange and horrific advanced technologies that would boggle the minds of laymen. 

Although this humble blog has been touched by the sacred pipe of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, I don't consider it just another SubGenius outlet. This blog is simply my way of sharing my Slack with the masses who might want to consume it until they discover their own true nature and Original Slack. Joining the Church and going through my own illumination was simply my first step into discovery into finding myself and my truest inner nature. 

I'd like to think that the useless and needless information on this blog transcends even my own intention, but, who's to say. Perhaps this blog is even more useless than I originally thought. That would, in my estimation, make it all the more important. Because in a sense, ins't so-called "uselessness" just another one of the many tendrilled and tentacled arms of Slack? Uselessness is a very unique and valuable commodity I feel. Some of the greatest moments of our lives stem from it. Our very existence might depend on it. There's probably no need for "uselessness" to be such a negative term when so much of life's joys come from useless acts. 

Laying by the beach or in front of a television; hobbies like collecting toys, stamps, or coins; owning a pet or several pets; hanging out with friends and having a couple of drinks; going through old photographs or looking out the window; etc. Most single-minded people would see many of the above actions as useless, but, I would argue in their inherent value to the human spirit. Without moments of levity where we just just vege out and ignore the bustle and horror of existence, we wouldn't care enough about ourselves to actually go on and live. 

JHVH-1 and his evil ilk will one day destroy this world in a spectacular RUPTURE using his mighty Stark Fist of REMOVAL, crushing all the mediocretins who tried to control life itself! Little did they know that their own Conspiracy would only betray them. 

I may create my own schism within the Church someday. It's an important stepping stone for any SubGenius to step away from "Bob" so that we can help him combat the horrors of the Conspiracy. I'm already a member of so many Clenches (First Church of Dana Scully, Scientist for example), but someday when I have a bit more confidence in myself maybe I'll create something truly hideous and weird that I can be proud of. 

Until then, I will Slack off and float down the stream of life, enjoying it's many wonderfully useless pleasures. 

Psycho Ape Teaser Trailer


"Psycho Ape" is due out this year and I am really looking forward to it. I love a good killer gorilla movie, and this one looks like it's going to be loads of fun. From the creative mind behind Tromasterpiece Theatre, "Psycho Ape" looks like it knows exactly what it is and what it wants to be. 

I love it already. 

 The Last Drive-In (on Shudder)

So, I broke my personal bank and fought against my own poverty so I could subscribe to Shudder (the horror channel) so I could watch The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs, and it has been the best decision I have ever made. I've missed "Monster-Vision", and this is an exact clone of that classic TNT show. 

Shudder has a great array of programming too, don't get me wrong, but The Last Drive-In is the main event as far as I'm concerned. The first of nine episodes has already passed and I'm absolutely hooked. Plus, I loved all the live Tweeting from all the fans watching along. Although I was alone in a basement watching, I felt like I was in a massive global movie theater with other horror fans. Joe has a great new mail girl, great guests, and amazing takes on movies. Definitely worth the Shudder price. 

Samurai Pizza Cats (Figures)

 Last note for today (and this should really go on my long ignored anime blog but..); I'm a life-long fan of the Samurai Pizza Cats. It was a Japanese anime series translated into English with a script rewritten by the American production company because the Japanese production company didn't provide a script for them. It's an anime that sounds and plays out like an episode of Rocky & Bullwinkle. It's great just trust me. 

I can still recite the Samurai Pizza Cats Oath from memory!

I'm happy to report there's been a new line of figures based on the original anime series. No doubt these will be impossible to find here in the US for a while, but I assume I'll bump into them eventually at NYCC or some other con for double than what they're worth. 

I'm not greedy, all I want is a figure of Polly Esther to put on my shelf next to my other fictional sweethearts. 💘

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