Saturday, June 8, 2019

CHUBBY UFO FREEDOM: Prepare for X-Day "2019"!

My chief engineer Sono (@sonoyourface on Twitter) designed for me this beautiful escape vessel for when doomsday finally arrives. Ah yes, the much talked about and prophesized X-day of SubGenius lore, where that bratty shithead alien monster JHVH-1 smashes down his mighty Stark Fist of Removal to kill all the pinks and destroys the Earth! All members of the Church of the SubGenius will of course be saved and taken to Planet X, in Dimension X, where the Xist Sex Goddesses will pleasure us in ways that will drive us insane!

It'll be a good day. And what makes it better is that I now have this beautiful, hamburger-like UFO to fly away in. As you can see, it is the most advanced UFO of its kind that $20 can buy. Sono herself isn't a member of the Church, but I promised to store her away in the trunk when X-Day occurs. 

As X-Day approaches, you should start thinking seriously in investing in your own eternal salvation! Give to the Church, save yourself, get revenge on those who have wronged you, and finally regain the Slack that was stolen from you!! You only have until July 5th!! 

New Belial Figure by Phantasma

Phantasma Collectibles has made the Belial figure of my DREAMS. It's perfect! Sadly, this week bills are due, but next week I'll be able to order this perfect little Belial. The Basket Case series are some of my favorite films. I NEED this figure for my collection or I will most definitely die. DIE I SAY.

Platypossum (Film)

Platypossum is more fun than it has any right to be. Beautiful stop-motion effects on the titular Platypossum, a a clear moral message against hydrofracking. In a sense it's not too dissimilar to the 1954 or 1998 Godzilla movies insofar as Platypossum is a simple creature who doesn't really mean any harm, but is simply the end result of the over-interference of man on nature.  

Platypossum is also a gross-out comedy though, and there are some scenes that really took me by surprise. But I'm a sucker for a creature feature, and this was loads of fun. We need more Z-Grade creature features. 

Monster Island films

So to coincide with the new Godzilla film (I assume), SyFy released a movie called Monster Island, which is of course all about Kaiju. It looks like a lot of fun, and I can't wait to see it when I can. I don't own a television so I missed the premiere.

It also reminded me of another movie with the same title made back in 2003 from MTV. It's a send off on old 1950's b-movies, and it stars Carmen Electra and Adam West. I don't think this movie had any kind of theatrical release, but I remember monster kids and creature feature fans thought it was pretty good. I did as well actually, and I loved seeing Adam West as a sort of mad scientist.

Star Raiders: The Adventures of Sabre Raine (Film)

Lastly, my best pal took me to see Rifftrax and the riffing of the amazing Scifisploitation film, Star Raiders: The Adventures of Sabre Raine! WHAT A GREAT FILM!

I mean that, I had a blast. Star Raiders was a fun movie, even if it was pretty cringe worthy. I loved the special effects, the characters, and especially the villain Sinjin who is just the best.

I feel like there's potential for there to be a fandom for Star Raiders, and eventually it will find its audience. 

I love it. I genuinely really enjoyed it, and I think fans of classic serials and sci-fi films will find some sort of enjoyment in it as well.

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