HAPPY JULY 4TH! Enjoy it while you can, because tomorrow IS X-DAY! THE RUPTURE IS NIGH! JHVH-1 APPROACHES!
If "Bob" doesn't have your money already, it might very well be too late! The Conspiracy is trying it's best to intercept the transmissions from Dimension X, but, the Xists will still arrive to swoop up and save the ordained and righteous SubGenii who have paid their dues! JHVH-1 himself will punch the shit out of the Earth and destroy it, along with all the Pinks who have even annoyed us slightly!
YOU COULD HAVE JOINED US! SUPEIOR MUTANTS DESTINED TO JOIN THE GODS IN THE STARS! But now there is no escape, unless, you go to www.subgenius.com and purchase an ordainment kit right now! There might still be hope!
For those of you who will be smashed by the mighty Fists of JHVH-1, you have my pity. But you also had it coming to you, because, you're all a bunch of smelly jerks. I mean really, the truth was right there the whole time but you let other fool you when you could have just made a fool of yourself like we chose to do.
Dobbspeed to you all. As for me, I'll be on the Pleasure Saucers on my way to Dimension X! I know that X-Day has failed for like 30-plus years, but, THIS TIME FOR SURE!!