The Church of the SubGenius

The Church of the SubGenius is a definitely for real cult founded by J.R. "Bob" Dobbs (the guy with the pipe) after he was given super salesmanship powers and super subhuman intelligence by the evil alien space god monster, JHVH1 (who is not the god from the Christian bible but more like a Cthulhu monster).

The SubGenius faith is a mockery religion that makes fun of other religions while at the same time creating it's own theology that changes minute by minute depending who is espousing it. Salvation costs only 35 bucks, and once a person joins they are reunited with their yeti heritage, have their third nostril opened up, and are guaranteed their very own flying saucer and alien sex gods and goddesses when the world ends on July 5th, 1998 (the calendar as we know it is a total sham).

When the world ends, "Bob" and the aliens called Xists will fly us up to Planet X to live in total paradise while JHVH1 punches the fuck out of the earth killing everyone you hate while you get everything you ever wanted in the new world.

And when you pass away you go to SubGenius Hell, which is more wondrous than one million Christian heavens and after that you're finally ready for SubGenius Heaven which is one hundred trillion better than all other heavens combined!

the SubGenius religion is for outsiders, misfits, weirdos, artists, and for all peoples who fight against the Conspiracy of Normalcy. Our weapons are Time Control and Habafropzipulops, our goal is Slack, and our motto is "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke!" 

To join and reclaim your Yeti heritage, go to the Official Church of the SubGenius website and BECOME ORDAINED NOW!

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